거룩하신 하나님

<출애굽기 19:1-15> 2012.04.24

본문에서의 하나님:

-능력의 하나님 (4절)

-백성을 지키시는 분 (4절)

-우리에게 최선의 삶을 주시기 원하시는 분 (5-6절)

-거룩하신 하나님

하나님의 거룩함은 우리가 감당히지 못할 정도다. 시내 산에 이스라엘 백성 앞에 나타나시기로 한 하나님께서는 시내 산을 건드리기만 해도 죽을 것이라고 경고하신다. 그 만큼 우리의 죄가 하나님의 거룩함을 감당하지 못하는 것 같다. 가끔식 나도 하나님이 ‘느껴지지’ 않을 때 불평한다, “하나님, 어디 계세요? 제 앞에 나타나주세요.”

하지만 정말로 하나님께서 내 앞에 나타나시면 나는 그 분의 거룩함을 감당할 수 있을까? 고개를 들 수 있을까? 차마 부끄러워서 그러지 못할 거 같다. 그럼에도 불구하고 예배와 말씀과 묵상과 기도와 성령님을 통해 만나주셔서 너무 감사하다.. 주일 예배뿐만 아니라, 매일 하나님 앞에 나갈 때 이스라엘 백성이 자신들을 거룩케하고 ‘옷을 세탁’하고 깨끗히 했듯이 나도 똑같이 내 자신을 점검하고, 죄를 회개하며 깨끗한 마음으로 나가야겠다.

그리고 하나님의 거룩한 민족이 되기 위해서는 하나님께서 이렇게 말씀하신다, “내게 온전히 순종하고 내 언약을 지켜라” (5절).

오늘 내가 하나님 앞에서 지켜야 할 언약이 뭘까?

in the present today

<Exodus 16: 1-10> April 17, 2012

v. 2-4, 9-10 – “In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions… Then Moses told Aaron, “Say to the entire Israelite community, ‘Come before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.’” While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the LORD appearing in the cloud.”

I’m like the Israelites every day… I focus so much on my situation and my emotions. Some days my faith is based on how I feel.

REGARDLESS, GOD LISTENS.

He heard the Israelites’ groans and cries in Egypt, and He again listens to their complaining in the desert. He could’ve just punished them for being ungrateful – but instead, He provides for them and He reveals His glory to them. This is how much God desires to be in a relationship with me!

And He teaches them that faith – the walk of faith – should be daily. Trusting God for that day, living in the present faith.

to me, from God<3 – ‘I hear you. Talk to me today. Trust me today. I will provide, I will listen, I will give you faith for today. I will show myself to you today.’

all people smile in the same language

Every Monday at pNan (the NGO I work at), Fatim and I have a lovely conversation that consists mostly of smiles and friendly ‘looks’ because I don’t speak French and she doesn’t speak English. She makes me want to learn French sooooo bad. There are probably many things we want to communicate to each other, but I’m also grateful that some things are universal enough to convey silent warm heart language :)

 

the price of sin is paid for

<John 19:1-27> April 16, 2012

verses 16-18, 23-24 – “Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified. So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others – one on each side and Jesus in the middle… When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, “They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.” So this is what the soldiers did.”

‘God I feel like a failure… I knowingly sin against you.. I’m frustrated at myself. I don’t like who I am right now, and I especially don’t like the fact that I’m letting myself distance myself from you, from knowing you or worshipping you.’

Reading this passage clearly shows me the price of sin. The price of sin is death (Romans 6:23). And Jesus took it all. He physically suffered and he was humiliated, not because of anything he did wrong but because of everything I did wrong – he paid the price. But this passage isn’t meant to scare me (although the price of sin is unbearably frightening), instead I think it’s an invitation to the cross. Today God is inviting me back to the cross where it all began – the power of the cross is forgiveness, mercy, comfort, healing, and love.

Holy Spirit, please lead me back to the cross.

dearest Mari Ellen

When I was a junior in high school, I would occasionally join a couple of seniors Friday mornings on the fourth floor prayer room to pray for our school. It was a meaningful time for me, and when the seniors graduated, it was pressed on my heart to continue. Mari Ellen thought it was a great idea and she decided to pray with me every Friday morning. Most of the time, it’d just be the two of us – we’d open up the box with the names of the seniors and pray for them, and pray for the upcoming events at BFA, and just pray together. With Mari Ellen, it always showed how much she loved God and how much she loved and cared for the people around her. I got to talk to her about the things on my heart and she listened and she cared. I wonder if I truly expressed how much that year with her meant to me. With so many people in her life, I can’t help but wonder how she had that much love to give. She was a true reflection of God’s love to those around her. She touched so many people’s lives with her encouragements, her listening heart, her hugs, her time, and her contagious big laughter. She touched mine. Now she is in our Father’s embrace.

with Mari Ellen at high school graduation 2007

I couldn’t help the tears last night, but as the Bible says, “We do not grieve as those who have no hope.” (I Thessalonians 4:13) I bet heaven is ringing with her laughter right now.

I went back to Mari Ellen’s blog (http://www.xanga.com/mereeser), in search of her words of wisdom and comfort from her positivity. An excerpt of what I read dated February 27, 2011:

“The delight of reunions…And yet, there is something about it makes me long for heaven. I was thrilled to spend time with Daniel, Lori, Laurie, Gary, and the other folks from Ventura. Of course the hope of eternity with them is thrilling. And I KNOW that eternity with Jesus will be way better even than being with them, but sometimes I wish I had more time with than just the 10 days together every other summer. Perhaps this feeling of loss is because I know I won’t be part of the REFRESH retreat this year? I’m reminded that fellowshipping with other lovers of Christ is a taste of being with Jesus Himself. I know that the deep joy I experienced at reuniting with former students will be nothing compared to our eventual uniting as Christ’s bride.”

And also from May 20, 2009:

“What do I want them to write on my tombstone?
She loved people and more than that, she loved Jesus.”

Mari Ellen, you did that and you did it so abundantly.

Mari Ellen, I miss you and I love you. I hope you’re having an awesome time exploring heaven and spending face-to-face time with Jesus. I hope you get to meet Sung-hyun, and if you do, say hi to him for me. I’m going to love Jesus and love the people around me with the love that you showed me. Thanks for being part of my life.

the little Big Issue guy

As my sister and I were half-skipping to the subway station this morning, being rude and rejecting any candidate propaganda fliers for the upcoming elections pushed in front of us, we noticed the little Big Issue guy by the street, in his usual corner, singing along to the lyrics of the obnoxiously loud propaganda music. It made us laugh. His “Big Issue sa-sae-yo” cries were probably no match for the blaring speakers and the repetitive notes and lyrics probably inculcated themselves in his brain without any conscious effort on his part, causing him to move his head to the beat and sing along. “If you can’t get rid of it, just enjoy it, right?” I said to my sister, to which she asked, “Who said that?” “The homeless guy,” I said and we laughed at the ‘hidden lesson’ we learned through the cheerful little Big Issue guy. I don’t know 기호6번’s plans for the homeless, but in light of the support he’s getting from the streets, they better be good! :)

 

 

 

 

*The Big Issue is a street newspaper published on behalf of and sold by homeless people.